Tuesday 29 May 2012

Editting, schmeditting...

I'm learning the hard way that funny metaphors that include gnats and oranges, whilst seem HILARIOUS when you first write them, ain't so sharp 2 days later when the editor - head gets screwed onto the ol' shoulders.

I remember in my first blog posts where I was so anxious about content, seeming poetical, punctuation, and now I think I'm on the level of verbal diahoeria that needs to be referred to the doctor.

Went to Brighton at the weekend to see my lovely friend Jessie, who is total babe of the millenia plus brainbox 2012. She's on her soapbox about feminism and has been growing her 'pit hair. Against all odds, she doesn't smell like a sweaty betty. I wish my lack of leg shaving was down to some political message, but its more to do with a lack of razors. I'm not sure this has the same level of gravitas.

I'm at the end of exams - place where I start doing about 7 things a day, and not finishing any of them. Currently on the list its :
Getting boxes to put my stuff in so I can move out.
Write this article for the uni paper.
Pack.
Write proposal for Livewire Unsigned 2012.
SORT OUT LIFE (more of a lifelong project, so not going to give myself too much yap for not finishing this one...)
Get job secured.

Feel really knotty about the summer. Need and want to save lots of dollar, so in my 2nd and 3rd year summers (where I'll really NEED the break) I can do lots of exciting travel things that are totally sensational and amazing. But just being on the Norwich - Brighton train made me miss travelling SO much.

I'd really love to be in Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine right now, off on an adventure.

Tuesday 22 May 2012

O Eagleton, you hoot.

'We call false teeth realistic, but not the Foreign Office'

Words are certainly as real as pineapples, but this is precisely the reason they cannot be pineapples.'

'Cucumber sandwiches are no less ontologically solid than pie and beans'

Who doesn't want to be a Literature student eh?

(apart from all of the people who are GENUINELY saving lives and won't end up working in McDonalds.....)

Source: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v25/n20/terry-eagleton/pork-chops-and-pineapples

Reasons that Natasha should/Shouldn't go to Bolivia to teach children.

So my friend Natasha is leaving to teach children in Bolivia. She's leaving in about 6 weeks. I have very mixed feelings about this. To demonstrate that, every day before she goes I will be constructing a 'why you should go/why you shouldn't go' list of reasons, which I will be posting on here and on my Facebook page.

The interview was successful!!! I will be volunteering in BOLIVIA for 3 months this summer! Leaving 1st July :D !!!!!!!


Reasons to go:
1.I'm told the Bolivian Rainforest is really beautiful
2. to learn spainish.
3.You'll be able to tell me what the capital of Boliva is...along with a whole host of other intriguing details of the country.
4.You'll perhaps meet a monkey
5.Its really good for long distance walking, and trekking.
6. I'm told you can get really good street food for less than a £.

Reason to not go:
1.I will do a 24 day - alphabet themed food challenge with you - each day we can only eat food that begins with the next letter of the alphabet until we reach Z. And then we have to go onto eating things of the quantities of numbers 1 - 24. 48 days of zingy and interesting food, mmmhmm. What more could you want?!
2.We can put all of our mattresses together and make a duvet theme park, and then hide underneath them and pretend its the arctic and we're about to be eaten by polar bears, whilst eating marshmellows encased in suet, to keep ourselves warm and alive. (mission impossible tune optional!!)
3. We will pool together all free money, and buy every colour nail varnish that there is available, and paint our nails a different colour every day. The clothes we wear will match and change accordingly
4. we need to get silly end of first yah/
second year drunk together!!! (clearly av balanced arguement....Clearly written when drunk...!5. We could make a fort out of all of the fabric that we have combined, out of an entire house, and light it with fairylights and torches. And then play sardines and hide and seek. 6.I will paint your toenails every day, and swab your ears, and do all of the body jobs that are just a bit boring, and borderline disgusting.

Monday 21 May 2012

I've booked my return ticket to this....and can't wait!

This is the Exe Valley, where my hometown Tiverton nestles in. The hills in the backround are part of a 17 mile walk me and the sensational Fran did over the Christmas holidays. I can't wait to go back - last time I was there was back in early January. I'm ready for everyone to know me by name, the racial diversity to be nill, 'mi loverrr' to be the formal greeting, and the most cultured thing to happen being a duck race in a local village. Home Sweet Home. I can't wait.

Its amazing how selective memory is...will I remember my revision notes for Auerbach's Mimesis? Debatable. Can I remember details about Stars In Their Eyes over 10 years ago? Almost definitely...


Sunday 20 May 2012

Had a really weird insight into the future of mine and Natasha's friendship.

So, on the phone to my beautiful and fabulous friend Natasha - she's been really busy with volunteer interviews, meeting old friends from Italy who she hadn't seen for ages, catching up with her family, and her portfolio submission and presentations, as she does Visual Art at NUCA. Having a good ol' gasbag, and her sister, Laura, comes up to her as she's sitting in the living room.

I kid you not, this is how the conversation went:

[muffled, and away from the phone]
Laura: 'Natasha, I've got bad wind'

Natasha:'Aw you poor baby, are you okay?

Laura:[muffled and away from phone]'I can't poo, I can't wee, I can't sit down, it huuuuurts'

Natasha: 'Aw, baby, have you had any yoghurt?'

[by this point I've pulled the phone away from my mouth as I'm now doing a full body giggle].

Laura:'Yoghurts disgusting.'

Natasha: 'I'm just on the phone to my friend Kate, do you want to talk to her?'

[She hears me laughing]

Laura:'Why is she laughing?'

Natasha:'Oh, she's just laughing at something where she is. What are you laughing at, Kate?'

Kate: 'Umm, there's just something funny on your blog'.

[The sound of 7 year old Laura not being convinced.]

Kate: 'There is nothing funny here.'


I can imagine (imaggggine) us when we're in our 30s, balancing a Cath Kidston polka dot muffin, that was taken from a Cath Kidston polka dot biscuit tin, alongside a glass of finely squeezed orange juice, and a child that is either hungry/wants something/tired/bored/upset/all of the above, desperately attempting to yank any bits of hair/loose clothing in the bid to get attention!

Friday 18 May 2012

Hahaha

Just read back over my blog a bit (in the time that normal people use for SLEEPING. Who am I, and what does my body think its doing?!) and found this word used once:

WAFFLEBURGER.

I am going to make it my mission to slip it into a conversation tomorrow. I shall write a report detailing the circumstances surrounding my usage of the aforementioned HILARIOUS word, and the reception that greets it.

Adieu.

(I'm a drama student, what can you expect?)


(An appreciation of words, because I'm a Literature Student!)


(A coversation between two sides of my brain, because I'm confused, and need to sleep!)

I havn't uploaded a photo of me for a while, so I thought you ought to know, this is what I look like now:



Out of shot there is a cereal bar, a cup of coffee, and a notepad.

The Awards Ceremony for Livewire1350 is tomorrow. Its big biz and very exciting. Me and the lovely lovely Alex Valentine have been working pretty much flat out for over 5 days, dodging exams, rehearsals, shifts at the Norwich + Norfolk Festival, filming, lunches, and reflective journal submission dates, to make it as exciting as an event can be, when organised under these circumstances.

I have shaved my legs. I'll pause for dramatic effect.

It was bit like doing some broad scale deforestation of The Amazon. I'm expecting a call from British Waterworks saying that they've had the biggest drain clog since they found a dead body in the pipes back in the '60s. Jeez Louise, you've never seen anything like it! I thought I was getting a bit podgy and don't quite have the muscles from Brussels that I know I'm reknowned for, but after doing that kind of conservation work I might need to call a vet because these swans are siiiiiiiiiiick (that joke needs me to do a GESTURE for it to work. But just laugh at the way you would normally at something funny, and I'll tell you about it when I see you next).

The busy crazy hour thing has come at a cost. I'm probably verging the level of obesity where they need to get a crane to lift me out of the window, and my room is probably growing some kind of highly developed cancer - killing fungus. (Mum - don't worry, my room is NOT mouldy, its a JOKE....a JOKE...ouch. I can imagine your non impressed face).

All in all this tells you nothing really about whats been going on, except that I'm doing that arrogant 'I'm doing lots' attitude thing. I'll stop doing that soon when it bites me up the bum (its already had a few good nips at my cheeks). But for now, sleep time, and then in the morning I'm waving bits of fabric and holding a dragon's head for 3 hours, then going on a mega pyscho organise everything of the century + veins popped out left, right and centre on my forehead. AND THEN I'll get dressed up and put me fake eyelashes, heels, lipstick (heres hoping I get better at applying it than I did today. HELLO KETCHUP MOUTH) and pretend that the whole event just 'FELL' together, whilst modelling my laugh on Scissor Sister's 'Take your Mama Out' song...Ha hahahahahahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa.

'Gonna take your mama out all night
Yeah we'll show her what it's all about
We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne
We'll let the good times all roll out
And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad
We're gonna sing along no matter what'.

Sunday 13 May 2012

'Im big, you're small...and there's nothing you can do about it!' (Roald Dahl, Matilda).


Can do.

I've been doing a day - long (was originally going to be a week but after reflection, thought not a good idea) fast, and after watching this, feel so much more energised and productive to think more carefully about where my food comes from, and what processes its been through. Some pro - local/organic videos can be quite oppressive, but this one manages really well to evoke the sensation of a 'can do' attitude.

http://www.takepart.com/foodinc/film.

Thursday 10 May 2012

My Bucket List. Well, the public version...! Subject to change, terms and conditions apply. See instore for details.

Do stand up comedy.
Run the distance of a marathon.
Get a full body wax professionally.
Hop for 100 hops.
Do a cartwheel.
Speak in an Irish accent and make someone believe thats how I sound for an entire conversation.
Hitchike 3000 miles in a single trip.
Do a year of taking a photo every day.
Get on top of the ziggarats.
Be drawn naked.
Go on a naked beach.
Watch a horror movie alone.
Go to Alton Towers.
Meet a member of the Royal Family.
Swim the distance of the English Channel.
Hitchike from John O'Groats - Lands End.
Make a human pyramid with the entire drama freshers.
Write a feature for Concrete
Get a 70 in an essay.
Visit every continant (in whole life!)
Help some one complete one item on their bucket list.
Capture lightening in a photo.
Successfully make a house of cards 6 storeys high.
Go on a TV gameshow.
Cook every meal in a cookbook.
Get a tattoo.Spend St. Patrick's Day in Ireland.
Hitchike to Ireland.
Write a letter to my future self.
Do one charity fundraiser a year for something that matters.
Learn to horseride.
Do drama workshops with the elderly.
Complete my degree and get a 2:1.
Go to Iceland (The country..).
Go to Antarctica/North Pole.
Make a dress from scratch.
Go on a hot air balloon ride.
Be on National Radio (Again...!).
Go to a Couchsurfing meeting in Norwich.
Become, at some point, a Couchsurfing ambassador.
Decorate a house.
Work overseas as a teacher.
Go to Asia.
Sing in front of people and be good.
Do a triathlon.
Research my family.
Read 30 books in 30 days.
Write a novel, even if its not published.
Learn to put make - up like a pro.
Get a French manicure.
Go to drawing classes.
Be in a show at Edinburgh.
Camp for a month solid.
Work on a farm - and be useful.
Knit a pair of socks.
Visit America.
Read all of the major religion's texts.
Ride a unicycle.
Walk a mile with a dictionary on my head.

Tuesday 8 May 2012

Lesson 101: Do Irish jigs and wave paintbrushes. It gets you places.

So, did an Irish jig and waved a paintbrush at 40 members of Livewire Radio Station in the hope of getting elected as the Social Secretary. I have to resubmit my application due to an admin problem, but this is totes a cover up for their disdain of my dancing. Think I need to sort out my life.

Had a really wonderful feeling of calmness today. Things have just been such a ridiculous level of craziness. Reminded me of my first day in Sofia, where I arrived so crazily sleep deprived, having only 45 minutes of disrupted sleep as there were about 4 separate border control officers who woke me up to check my passport. I only had 2 days in Sofia, and Bulgaria was one of the main places I wanted to visit, so really wanted to make sure I made the most of it. I had one of the most memorable times travelling, meeting some incredible people, staying at the sensational Hostel Mostel, and met the beautiful Eduard who I had a relationship with, that whilst was unsuccessful after a couple of months, was something quite special. Ed has said to me since of that time, that he couldn't tell how sleep deprived I was, and I felt so part of the social group and the parties even though I felt so pooped.

So, this past weekend we were rehearsing for 8 hours, and it was pretty gruelling. Our set consists of many trees, logs, a tonne (a LITERAL tonne. I shit you not) of earth and lots of contact mats and movements. I didn't know my lines nearly as well as I should have done, and it showed. But between some of my cast members there are moments of REAL beauty. I really hope they go far in the theatrical world by acting because they are magnificent to work with and magnificent to watch.

After that day, everyone was totally pooped and planned to chilllax, but crazy Kate-a-dingle (i.e, me!) was stage managing a show for the Norfolk and Norwich Festival, please check out the details here: http://www.nnfestival.org.uk/festival/outdoor/the-voice-project. Its very exciting!! Really love my director too, loved the community theatre, got to go up the Triphorium of the Cathedral, and saw graffiti dated 1693. A-MAZIN'! The triphorium looks down like a balcony, surrounding the walls, onto the seating and altar, and my word is it breathtaking. They also had discarded ornate scultures, y'know, your general riffraff you have about the place....Had to do alot of timings and running and knowing what I and 39 other people should be doing, cue by cue by cue. And funnily enough, I did. I never usually can even conduct MYSELF, but I stayed calm, and loved every second. Luckily, this calmness has pervaded into my normal life, and the mishmash of revising for the exam today, plus tech and dress rehearsal; both of which I was badly prepared for, but both of which I was reliatively happy with the results.

Also, to juxtapose this whole grown up, organised nonsense, I have mouldy mugs, jugs and cups. I'M AN EVIL PERSON AND THIS HABIT SHOULD HAVE ENDED WHEN MY BOWL HAIRCUT DID! I know. So not even sniffing at the school of cool. I have now washed them, and mentally sat on the naughty step. I'm going to use the excuse of business, but I know that the Queen is a busy lady, and she still manages to have non - mouldy cups floating around so its just not acceptable. Yuck. In other disgusting news, I have mud ALL OVER my feet, toe nails, hair, bra, belly button. I think I'm pretty much what Liberty X had in mind back in the mid noughties when they were singing their cover of 'Sexyyyy, everything about you is so sexxxyyyy, you don't even know what you....go - hoooot, you're really hitting my spo-hooot, o yeh'. Well I know I have lots of mud and I think thats a turn on.

On that note, I'm going to turn off. Night y'all. Stay calm, wave paintbrushes, do jigs, and sleep 45 mins. Its a working formula x

Monday 7 May 2012

As the Scouts say, "Be Prepared"; you never know when these Christian - friendly words for Vagina will come in handy! Most surreal list I've ever read!

Author: Tyson Bowers.
Source: http://christwire.org/2011/11/51-christian-friendly-words-for-vagina/

We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “vagina” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.
  1. Puff Pillow
  2. Fish Cave
  3. Baby Door
  4. Eve’s Tunnel
  5. Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
  6. Reverse Blowhole
  7. Skin Wand Scarf
  8. Egg Crate
  9. Bullet Wound
  10. Sin Flower
  11. Moist Camel Hump
  12. Harpy Nest
  13. Canker Blossom
  14. Silk Barnacle
  15.  Flap Dragon
  16. Clapper Claw
  17. Birth Cavern
  18. Flesh Wrap
  19. DNA Catcher
  20. Frothy Creek
  21. Satan’s Trap
  22. Sin Muscle
  23. Folded Flesh Leaf
  24. Harpoon Target
  25. Slurpin’ Salmon
  26. Devil’s Fun Slide
  27. Ovary Hallway
  28. Whispering Eye
  29. Secret Fish Forest
  30. Cat in The Hat
  31. Sin Sliver
  32. Devil Sponge
  33. Baby Portal
  34. Warm Potato
  35. Snake Trap
  36. Blood Sewer
  37. Twaddle Dandy
  38. Magic Crepe
  39. Satan’s Rose Bud
  40. Clack-dish
  41. Neighbor of Anus
  42. Pink Jello Box
  43. Rank Weasel
  44. Stripped Monkey
  45. Front Business
  46. Man’s Gift
  47. Wizard Sleeve
  48. The Liquid Slip
  49. Fleshy Fault Line
  50. Pink Velveeta Shell
  51. The Pubic Pub

Thursday 3 May 2012

Dear Diary

Me and my fabulous housemate Daisy just cooked the yummiest dinner. Courgette salad (thanks for the recipe Ella.C!), roasted sweet potato, avocado, cottage cheese, fried courgette and tomatoes + vinagrette and s+p. B.e.a.utiful. Had a really lovely chat about best and worst moments of last year, and then she told me lots of bum jokes, which always dings my dong.

Before this, I had rehearsal, which consisted of burying Ed with branches, and doing some 'good ol' fashioned stick acting', whilst being evil. I wonder how many of my roles in my Drama degree can be filled with evil stick acting? So far the ratio is 2/2. I hope for many more. Really love my group, can't wait for our official cast BONDING sesh whilst eating tapas and salsa dancing (clearly not all at the same time, imagine!). And at the end, we finally got our marks back for a previous performance, and I was really happy and very surprised with my grade, but what really meant alot to me was how she commended me for my imagination and creative input, and that she really valued it. I had been feeling a bit wobbly, but it just made me feel really lovely, so had a little happy cry.

Also, an act of serendipity meant that I cycled past the polling station so my vote DEFINITELY counts as I never usually cycle from the Drama studio - home, and I never usually go that way, but because I did, it meant that I rememebered to vote - something which had I forgotton to do I would have been very annoyed at myself.

In other boobtastic news, my boobieboss has offered the oppertunity of working as a boobie monkey at festivals at the summer, which I am DEFINITELY going to do! Don't know where, don't know how, but know I'm VERY excited! I'm so happy that my job celebrates boobulant puns and boob suits (they are EXACTLY what you think they are!).

Meanwhile, and quite a biggie in terms of my life, I have finally got a tattoo. I am 21 years old, have voted in 2 separate elections, have travelled independantly, buy my own toothpaste and 5 out of 7 days sleep without a teddy in my bed. I am a grown up (WELL, who am I kidding, but for the purposes of wit and this story, hell yea I am). I LOVE IT. Its so cute and small and means alot to me! I love where it is, what it looks like, and I know this is ridiculous, but I can't wait for someone to ask 'Do you have a tattoo?' and for me, finally, to be able to reply, whilst sucking in my stomach, puckering out my lips, fluttering my eyelashes, twirling my hair, 'why, yes, yes I do!'. Also I love the idea of it being private (despite me talking about it on my blog, facebook, texts, phonecalls, and photos everywhere; in this modern age thats pretty much private..!). It did not hurt. I am not lying (cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye). It literally did not hurt. If you read this blog (i.e if you have a LOT of time on your hands and want something innane to do) ask me to demonstrate the pain of it.

I'm going to tidy my room. And today is one of the 2 out of the 7 days that teddy is sleeping in with me, aw yeeee. I think getting a tattoo is grown up enough for one day x.


P.s This is my ink: