Friday 1 June 2012
Wednesday 30 May 2012
Tuesday 29 May 2012
Editting, schmeditting...
I remember in my first blog posts where I was so anxious about content, seeming poetical, punctuation, and now I think I'm on the level of verbal diahoeria that needs to be referred to the doctor.
Went to Brighton at the weekend to see my lovely friend Jessie, who is total babe of the millenia plus brainbox 2012. She's on her soapbox about feminism and has been growing her 'pit hair. Against all odds, she doesn't smell like a sweaty betty. I wish my lack of leg shaving was down to some political message, but its more to do with a lack of razors. I'm not sure this has the same level of gravitas.
I'm at the end of exams - place where I start doing about 7 things a day, and not finishing any of them. Currently on the list its :
Getting boxes to put my stuff in so I can move out.
Write this article for the uni paper.
Pack.
Write proposal for Livewire Unsigned 2012.
SORT OUT LIFE (more of a lifelong project, so not going to give myself too much yap for not finishing this one...)
Get job secured.
Feel really knotty about the summer. Need and want to save lots of dollar, so in my 2nd and 3rd year summers (where I'll really NEED the break) I can do lots of exciting travel things that are totally sensational and amazing. But just being on the Norwich - Brighton train made me miss travelling SO much.
I'd really love to be in Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine right now, off on an adventure.
Tuesday 22 May 2012
O Eagleton, you hoot.
'We call false teeth realistic, but not the Foreign Office'
Words are certainly as real as pineapples, but this is precisely the reason they cannot be pineapples.'
'Cucumber sandwiches are no less ontologically solid than pie and beans'
Who doesn't want to be a Literature student eh?
(apart from all of the people who are GENUINELY saving lives and won't end up working in McDonalds.....)
Source: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v25/n20/terry-eagleton/pork-chops-and-pineapples
Words are certainly as real as pineapples, but this is precisely the reason they cannot be pineapples.'
'Cucumber sandwiches are no less ontologically solid than pie and beans'
Who doesn't want to be a Literature student eh?
(apart from all of the people who are GENUINELY saving lives and won't end up working in McDonalds.....)
Source: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v25/n20/terry-eagleton/pork-chops-and-pineapples
Reasons that Natasha should/Shouldn't go to Bolivia to teach children.
So my friend Natasha is leaving to teach children in Bolivia. She's leaving in about 6 weeks. I have very mixed feelings about this. To demonstrate that, every day before she goes I will be constructing a 'why you should go/why you shouldn't go' list of reasons, which I will be posting on here and on my Facebook page.
4. we need to get silly end of first yah/
The interview was successful!!! I will be volunteering in BOLIVIA for 3 months this summer! Leaving 1st July :D !!!!!!!
Reasons to go:
1.I'm told the Bolivian Rainforest is really beautiful
2. to learn spainish.
3.You'll be able to tell me what the capital of Boliva is...along with a whole host of other intriguing details of the country.
4.You'll perhaps meet a monkey
5.Its really good for long distance walking, and trekking.
6. I'm told you can get really good street food for less than a £.
Reason to not go:
1.I will do a 24 day - alphabet themed food challenge with you - each day we can only eat food that begins with the next letter of the alphabet until we reach Z. And then we have to go onto eating things of the quantities of numbers 1 - 24. 48 days of zingy and interesting food, mmmhmm. What more could you want?!
2.We can put all of our mattresses together and make a duvet theme park, and then hide underneath them and pretend its the arctic and we're about to be eaten by polar bears, whilst eating marshmellows encased in suet, to keep ourselves warm and alive. (mission impossible tune optional!!)
3. We will pool together all free money, and buy every colour nail varnish that there is available, and paint our nails a different colour every day. The clothes we wear will match and change accordingly
1.I'm told the Bolivian Rainforest is really beautiful
2. to learn spainish.
3.You'll be able to tell me what the capital of Boliva is...along with a whole host of other intriguing details of the country.
4.You'll perhaps meet a monkey
5.Its really good for long distance walking, and trekking.
6. I'm told you can get really good street food for less than a £.
Reason to not go:
1.I will do a 24 day - alphabet themed food challenge with you - each day we can only eat food that begins with the next letter of the alphabet until we reach Z. And then we have to go onto eating things of the quantities of numbers 1 - 24. 48 days of zingy and interesting food, mmmhmm. What more could you want?!
2.We can put all of our mattresses together and make a duvet theme park, and then hide underneath them and pretend its the arctic and we're about to be eaten by polar bears, whilst eating marshmellows encased in suet, to keep ourselves warm and alive. (mission impossible tune optional!!)
3. We will pool together all free money, and buy every colour nail varnish that there is available, and paint our nails a different colour every day. The clothes we wear will match and change accordingly
Monday 21 May 2012
I've booked my return ticket to this....and can't wait!
Sunday 20 May 2012
Had a really weird insight into the future of mine and Natasha's friendship.
So, on the phone to my beautiful and fabulous friend Natasha - she's been really busy with volunteer interviews, meeting old friends from Italy who she hadn't seen for ages, catching up with her family, and her portfolio submission and presentations, as she does Visual Art at NUCA. Having a good ol' gasbag, and her sister, Laura, comes up to her as she's sitting in the living room.
I kid you not, this is how the conversation went:
[muffled, and away from the phone]
Laura: 'Natasha, I've got bad wind'
Natasha:'Aw you poor baby, are you okay?
Laura:[muffled and away from phone]'I can't poo, I can't wee, I can't sit down, it huuuuurts'
Natasha: 'Aw, baby, have you had any yoghurt?'
[by this point I've pulled the phone away from my mouth as I'm now doing a full body giggle].
Laura:'Yoghurts disgusting.'
Natasha: 'I'm just on the phone to my friend Kate, do you want to talk to her?'
[She hears me laughing]
Laura:'Why is she laughing?'
Natasha:'Oh, she's just laughing at something where she is. What are you laughing at, Kate?'
Kate: 'Umm, there's just something funny on your blog'.
[The sound of 7 year old Laura not being convinced.]
Kate: 'There is nothing funny here.'
I can imagine (imaggggine) us when we're in our 30s, balancing a Cath Kidston polka dot muffin, that was taken from a Cath Kidston polka dot biscuit tin, alongside a glass of finely squeezed orange juice, and a child that is either hungry/wants something/tired/bored/upset/all of the above, desperately attempting to yank any bits of hair/loose clothing in the bid to get attention!
I kid you not, this is how the conversation went:
[muffled, and away from the phone]
Laura: 'Natasha, I've got bad wind'
Natasha:'Aw you poor baby, are you okay?
Laura:[muffled and away from phone]'I can't poo, I can't wee, I can't sit down, it huuuuurts'
Natasha: 'Aw, baby, have you had any yoghurt?'
[by this point I've pulled the phone away from my mouth as I'm now doing a full body giggle].
Laura:'Yoghurts disgusting.'
Natasha: 'I'm just on the phone to my friend Kate, do you want to talk to her?'
[She hears me laughing]
Laura:'Why is she laughing?'
Natasha:'Oh, she's just laughing at something where she is. What are you laughing at, Kate?'
Kate: 'Umm, there's just something funny on your blog'.
[The sound of 7 year old Laura not being convinced.]
Kate: 'There is nothing funny here.'
I can imagine (imaggggine) us when we're in our 30s, balancing a Cath Kidston polka dot muffin, that was taken from a Cath Kidston polka dot biscuit tin, alongside a glass of finely squeezed orange juice, and a child that is either hungry/wants something/tired/bored/upset/all of the above, desperately attempting to yank any bits of hair/loose clothing in the bid to get attention!
Friday 18 May 2012
Hahaha
Just read back over my blog a bit (in the time that normal people use for SLEEPING. Who am I, and what does my body think its doing?!) and found this word used once:
WAFFLEBURGER.
I am going to make it my mission to slip it into a conversation tomorrow. I shall write a report detailing the circumstances surrounding my usage of the aforementioned HILARIOUS word, and the reception that greets it.
Adieu.
(I'm a drama student, what can you expect?)
(An appreciation of words, because I'm a Literature Student!)
(A coversation between two sides of my brain, because I'm confused, and need to sleep!)
WAFFLEBURGER.
I am going to make it my mission to slip it into a conversation tomorrow. I shall write a report detailing the circumstances surrounding my usage of the aforementioned HILARIOUS word, and the reception that greets it.
Adieu.
(I'm a drama student, what can you expect?)
(An appreciation of words, because I'm a Literature Student!)
(A coversation between two sides of my brain, because I'm confused, and need to sleep!)
I havn't uploaded a photo of me for a while, so I thought you ought to know, this is what I look like now:
Out of shot there is a cereal bar, a cup of coffee, and a notepad.
The Awards Ceremony for Livewire1350 is tomorrow. Its big biz and very exciting. Me and the lovely lovely Alex Valentine have been working pretty much flat out for over 5 days, dodging exams, rehearsals, shifts at the Norwich + Norfolk Festival, filming, lunches, and reflective journal submission dates, to make it as exciting as an event can be, when organised under these circumstances.
I have shaved my legs. I'll pause for dramatic effect.
It was bit like doing some broad scale deforestation of The Amazon. I'm expecting a call from British Waterworks saying that they've had the biggest drain clog since they found a dead body in the pipes back in the '60s. Jeez Louise, you've never seen anything like it! I thought I was getting a bit podgy and don't quite have the muscles from Brussels that I know I'm reknowned for, but after doing that kind of conservation work I might need to call a vet because these swans are siiiiiiiiiiick (that joke needs me to do a GESTURE for it to work. But just laugh at the way you would normally at something funny, and I'll tell you about it when I see you next).
The busy crazy hour thing has come at a cost. I'm probably verging the level of obesity where they need to get a crane to lift me out of the window, and my room is probably growing some kind of highly developed cancer - killing fungus. (Mum - don't worry, my room is NOT mouldy, its a JOKE....a JOKE...ouch. I can imagine your non impressed face).
All in all this tells you nothing really about whats been going on, except that I'm doing that arrogant 'I'm doing lots' attitude thing. I'll stop doing that soon when it bites me up the bum (its already had a few good nips at my cheeks). But for now, sleep time, and then in the morning I'm waving bits of fabric and holding a dragon's head for 3 hours, then going on a mega pyscho organise everything of the century + veins popped out left, right and centre on my forehead. AND THEN I'll get dressed up and put me fake eyelashes, heels, lipstick (heres hoping I get better at applying it than I did today. HELLO KETCHUP MOUTH) and pretend that the whole event just 'FELL' together, whilst modelling my laugh on Scissor Sister's 'Take your Mama Out' song...Ha hahahahahahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa.
'Gonna take your mama out all night
Yeah we'll show her what it's all about
We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne
We'll let the good times all roll out
And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad
We're gonna sing along no matter what'.
Monday 14 May 2012
Sunday 13 May 2012
Can do.
I've been doing a day - long (was originally going to be a week but after reflection, thought not a good idea) fast, and after watching this, feel so much more energised and productive to think more carefully about where my food comes from, and what processes its been through. Some pro - local/organic videos can be quite oppressive, but this one manages really well to evoke the sensation of a 'can do' attitude.
http://www.takepart.com/foodinc/film.
http://www.takepart.com/foodinc/film.
Thursday 10 May 2012
My Bucket List. Well, the public version...! Subject to change, terms and conditions apply. See instore for details.
Do stand up comedy.
Run the distance of a marathon.
Get a full body wax professionally.
Hop for 100 hops.
Do a cartwheel.
Speak in an Irish accent and make someone believe thats how I sound for an entire conversation.
Hitchike 3000 miles in a single trip.
Do a year of taking a photo every day.
Get on top of the ziggarats.
Be drawn naked.
Go on a naked beach.
Watch a horror movie alone.
Go to Alton Towers.
Meet a member of the Royal Family.
Swim the distance of the English Channel.
Hitchike from John O'Groats - Lands End.
Make a human pyramid with the entire drama freshers.
Write a feature for Concrete
Get a 70 in an essay.
Visit every continant (in whole life!)
Help some one complete one item on their bucket list.
Capture lightening in a photo.
Successfully make a house of cards 6 storeys high.
Go on a TV gameshow.
Cook every meal in a cookbook.
Get a tattoo.Spend St. Patrick's Day in Ireland.
Hitchike to Ireland.
Write a letter to my future self.
Do one charity fundraiser a year for something that matters.
Learn to horseride.
Do drama workshops with the elderly.
Complete my degree and get a 2:1.
Go to Iceland (The country..).
Go to Antarctica/North Pole.
Make a dress from scratch.
Go on a hot air balloon ride.
Be on National Radio (Again...!).
Go to a Couchsurfing meeting in Norwich.
Become, at some point, a Couchsurfing ambassador.
Decorate a house.
Work overseas as a teacher.
Go to Asia.
Sing in front of people and be good.
Do a triathlon.
Research my family.
Read 30 books in 30 days.
Write a novel, even if its not published.
Learn to put make - up like a pro.
Get a French manicure.
Go to drawing classes.
Be in a show at Edinburgh.
Camp for a month solid.
Work on a farm - and be useful.
Knit a pair of socks.
Visit America.
Read all of the major religion's texts.
Ride a unicycle.
Walk a mile with a dictionary on my head.
Run the distance of a marathon.
Get a full body wax professionally.
Hop for 100 hops.
Do a cartwheel.
Speak in an Irish accent and make someone believe thats how I sound for an entire conversation.
Hitchike 3000 miles in a single trip.
Do a year of taking a photo every day.
Get on top of the ziggarats.
Be drawn naked.
Go on a naked beach.
Watch a horror movie alone.
Go to Alton Towers.
Meet a member of the Royal Family.
Swim the distance of the English Channel.
Hitchike from John O'Groats - Lands End.
Make a human pyramid with the entire drama freshers.
Get a 70 in an essay.
Visit every continant (in whole life!)
Help some one complete one item on their bucket list.
Capture lightening in a photo.
Successfully make a house of cards 6 storeys high.
Go on a TV gameshow.
Cook every meal in a cookbook.
Hitchike to Ireland.
Do one charity fundraiser a year for something that matters.
Learn to horseride.
Do drama workshops with the elderly.
Complete my degree and get a 2:1.
Go to Iceland (The country..).
Go to Antarctica/North Pole.
Make a dress from scratch.
Go on a hot air balloon ride.
Be on National Radio (Again...!).
Become, at some point, a Couchsurfing ambassador.
Decorate a house.
Work overseas as a teacher.
Go to Asia.
Sing in front of people and be good.
Do a triathlon.
Research my family.
Read 30 books in 30 days.
Write a novel, even if its not published.
Learn to put make - up like a pro.
Get a French manicure.
Go to drawing classes.
Be in a show at Edinburgh.
Camp for a month solid.
Work on a farm - and be useful.
Knit a pair of socks.
Visit America.
Read all of the major religion's texts.
Ride a unicycle.
Walk a mile with a dictionary on my head.
Tuesday 8 May 2012
Lesson 101: Do Irish jigs and wave paintbrushes. It gets you places.
So, did an Irish jig and waved a paintbrush at 40 members of Livewire Radio Station in the hope of getting elected as the Social Secretary. I have to resubmit my application due to an admin problem, but this is totes a cover up for their disdain of my dancing. Think I need to sort out my life.
Had a really wonderful feeling of calmness today. Things have just been such a ridiculous level of craziness. Reminded me of my first day in Sofia, where I arrived so crazily sleep deprived, having only 45 minutes of disrupted sleep as there were about 4 separate border control officers who woke me up to check my passport. I only had 2 days in Sofia, and Bulgaria was one of the main places I wanted to visit, so really wanted to make sure I made the most of it. I had one of the most memorable times travelling, meeting some incredible people, staying at the sensational Hostel Mostel, and met the beautiful Eduard who I had a relationship with, that whilst was unsuccessful after a couple of months, was something quite special. Ed has said to me since of that time, that he couldn't tell how sleep deprived I was, and I felt so part of the social group and the parties even though I felt so pooped.
So, this past weekend we were rehearsing for 8 hours, and it was pretty gruelling. Our set consists of many trees, logs, a tonne (a LITERAL tonne. I shit you not) of earth and lots of contact mats and movements. I didn't know my lines nearly as well as I should have done, and it showed. But between some of my cast members there are moments of REAL beauty. I really hope they go far in the theatrical world by acting because they are magnificent to work with and magnificent to watch.
After that day, everyone was totally pooped and planned to chilllax, but crazy Kate-a-dingle (i.e, me!) was stage managing a show for the Norfolk and Norwich Festival, please check out the details here: http://www.nnfestival.org.uk/festival/outdoor/the-voice-project. Its very exciting!! Really love my director too, loved the community theatre, got to go up the Triphorium of the Cathedral, and saw graffiti dated 1693. A-MAZIN'! The triphorium looks down like a balcony, surrounding the walls, onto the seating and altar, and my word is it breathtaking. They also had discarded ornate scultures, y'know, your general riffraff you have about the place....Had to do alot of timings and running and knowing what I and 39 other people should be doing, cue by cue by cue. And funnily enough, I did. I never usually can even conduct MYSELF, but I stayed calm, and loved every second. Luckily, this calmness has pervaded into my normal life, and the mishmash of revising for the exam today, plus tech and dress rehearsal; both of which I was badly prepared for, but both of which I was reliatively happy with the results.
Also, to juxtapose this whole grown up, organised nonsense, I have mouldy mugs, jugs and cups. I'M AN EVIL PERSON AND THIS HABIT SHOULD HAVE ENDED WHEN MY BOWL HAIRCUT DID! I know. So not even sniffing at the school of cool. I have now washed them, and mentally sat on the naughty step. I'm going to use the excuse of business, but I know that the Queen is a busy lady, and she still manages to have non - mouldy cups floating around so its just not acceptable. Yuck. In other disgusting news, I have mud ALL OVER my feet, toe nails, hair, bra, belly button. I think I'm pretty much what Liberty X had in mind back in the mid noughties when they were singing their cover of 'Sexyyyy, everything about you is so sexxxyyyy, you don't even know what you....go - hoooot, you're really hitting my spo-hooot, o yeh'. Well I know I have lots of mud and I think thats a turn on.
On that note, I'm going to turn off. Night y'all. Stay calm, wave paintbrushes, do jigs, and sleep 45 mins. Its a working formula x
Had a really wonderful feeling of calmness today. Things have just been such a ridiculous level of craziness. Reminded me of my first day in Sofia, where I arrived so crazily sleep deprived, having only 45 minutes of disrupted sleep as there were about 4 separate border control officers who woke me up to check my passport. I only had 2 days in Sofia, and Bulgaria was one of the main places I wanted to visit, so really wanted to make sure I made the most of it. I had one of the most memorable times travelling, meeting some incredible people, staying at the sensational Hostel Mostel, and met the beautiful Eduard who I had a relationship with, that whilst was unsuccessful after a couple of months, was something quite special. Ed has said to me since of that time, that he couldn't tell how sleep deprived I was, and I felt so part of the social group and the parties even though I felt so pooped.
So, this past weekend we were rehearsing for 8 hours, and it was pretty gruelling. Our set consists of many trees, logs, a tonne (a LITERAL tonne. I shit you not) of earth and lots of contact mats and movements. I didn't know my lines nearly as well as I should have done, and it showed. But between some of my cast members there are moments of REAL beauty. I really hope they go far in the theatrical world by acting because they are magnificent to work with and magnificent to watch.
After that day, everyone was totally pooped and planned to chilllax, but crazy Kate-a-dingle (i.e, me!) was stage managing a show for the Norfolk and Norwich Festival, please check out the details here: http://www.nnfestival.org.uk/festival/outdoor/the-voice-project. Its very exciting!! Really love my director too, loved the community theatre, got to go up the Triphorium of the Cathedral, and saw graffiti dated 1693. A-MAZIN'! The triphorium looks down like a balcony, surrounding the walls, onto the seating and altar, and my word is it breathtaking. They also had discarded ornate scultures, y'know, your general riffraff you have about the place....Had to do alot of timings and running and knowing what I and 39 other people should be doing, cue by cue by cue. And funnily enough, I did. I never usually can even conduct MYSELF, but I stayed calm, and loved every second. Luckily, this calmness has pervaded into my normal life, and the mishmash of revising for the exam today, plus tech and dress rehearsal; both of which I was badly prepared for, but both of which I was reliatively happy with the results.
Also, to juxtapose this whole grown up, organised nonsense, I have mouldy mugs, jugs and cups. I'M AN EVIL PERSON AND THIS HABIT SHOULD HAVE ENDED WHEN MY BOWL HAIRCUT DID! I know. So not even sniffing at the school of cool. I have now washed them, and mentally sat on the naughty step. I'm going to use the excuse of business, but I know that the Queen is a busy lady, and she still manages to have non - mouldy cups floating around so its just not acceptable. Yuck. In other disgusting news, I have mud ALL OVER my feet, toe nails, hair, bra, belly button. I think I'm pretty much what Liberty X had in mind back in the mid noughties when they were singing their cover of 'Sexyyyy, everything about you is so sexxxyyyy, you don't even know what you....go - hoooot, you're really hitting my spo-hooot, o yeh'. Well I know I have lots of mud and I think thats a turn on.
On that note, I'm going to turn off. Night y'all. Stay calm, wave paintbrushes, do jigs, and sleep 45 mins. Its a working formula x
Monday 7 May 2012
As the Scouts say, "Be Prepared"; you never know when these Christian - friendly words for Vagina will come in handy! Most surreal list I've ever read!
Author: Tyson Bowers.
Source: http://christwire.org/2011/11/51-christian-friendly-words-for-vagina/
We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “vagina” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.
Source: http://christwire.org/2011/11/51-christian-friendly-words-for-vagina/
We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “vagina” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.
- Puff Pillow
- Fish Cave
- Baby Door
- Eve’s Tunnel
- Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
- Reverse Blowhole
- Skin Wand Scarf
- Egg Crate
- Bullet Wound
- Sin Flower
- Moist Camel Hump
- Harpy Nest
- Canker Blossom
- Silk Barnacle
- Flap Dragon
- Clapper Claw
- Birth Cavern
- Flesh Wrap
- DNA Catcher
- Frothy Creek
- Satan’s Trap
- Sin Muscle
- Folded Flesh Leaf
- Harpoon Target
- Slurpin’ Salmon
- Devil’s Fun Slide
- Ovary Hallway
- Whispering Eye
- Secret Fish Forest
- Cat in The Hat
- Sin Sliver
- Devil Sponge
- Baby Portal
- Warm Potato
- Snake Trap
- Blood Sewer
- Twaddle Dandy
- Magic Crepe
- Satan’s Rose Bud
- Clack-dish
- Neighbor of Anus
- Pink Jello Box
- Rank Weasel
- Stripped Monkey
- Front Business
- Man’s Gift
- Wizard Sleeve
- The Liquid Slip
- Fleshy Fault Line
- Pink Velveeta Shell
-
The Pubic Pub
Thursday 3 May 2012
Dear Diary
Me and my fabulous housemate Daisy just cooked the yummiest dinner. Courgette salad (thanks for the recipe Ella.C!), roasted sweet potato, avocado, cottage cheese, fried courgette and tomatoes + vinagrette and s+p. B.e.a.utiful. Had a really lovely chat about best and worst moments of last year, and then she told me lots of bum jokes, which always dings my dong.
Before this, I had rehearsal, which consisted of burying Ed with branches, and doing some 'good ol' fashioned stick acting', whilst being evil. I wonder how many of my roles in my Drama degree can be filled with evil stick acting? So far the ratio is 2/2. I hope for many more. Really love my group, can't wait for our official cast BONDING sesh whilst eating tapas and salsa dancing (clearly not all at the same time, imagine!). And at the end, we finally got our marks back for a previous performance, and I was really happy and very surprised with my grade, but what really meant alot to me was how she commended me for my imagination and creative input, and that she really valued it. I had been feeling a bit wobbly, but it just made me feel really lovely, so had a little happy cry.
Also, an act of serendipity meant that I cycled past the polling station so my vote DEFINITELY counts as I never usually cycle from the Drama studio - home, and I never usually go that way, but because I did, it meant that I rememebered to vote - something which had I forgotton to do I would have been very annoyed at myself.
In other boobtastic news, my boobieboss has offered the oppertunity of working as a boobie monkey at festivals at the summer, which I am DEFINITELY going to do! Don't know where, don't know how, but know I'm VERY excited! I'm so happy that my job celebrates boobulant puns and boob suits (they are EXACTLY what you think they are!).
Meanwhile, and quite a biggie in terms of my life, I have finally got a tattoo. I am 21 years old, have voted in 2 separate elections, have travelled independantly, buy my own toothpaste and 5 out of 7 days sleep without a teddy in my bed. I am a grown up (WELL, who am I kidding, but for the purposes of wit and this story, hell yea I am). I LOVE IT. Its so cute and small and means alot to me! I love where it is, what it looks like, and I know this is ridiculous, but I can't wait for someone to ask 'Do you have a tattoo?' and for me, finally, to be able to reply, whilst sucking in my stomach, puckering out my lips, fluttering my eyelashes, twirling my hair, 'why, yes, yes I do!'. Also I love the idea of it being private (despite me talking about it on my blog, facebook, texts, phonecalls, and photos everywhere; in this modern age thats pretty much private..!). It did not hurt. I am not lying (cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye). It literally did not hurt. If you read this blog (i.e if you have a LOT of time on your hands and want something innane to do) ask me to demonstrate the pain of it.
I'm going to tidy my room. And today is one of the 2 out of the 7 days that teddy is sleeping in with me, aw yeeee. I think getting a tattoo is grown up enough for one day x.
P.s This is my ink:
Before this, I had rehearsal, which consisted of burying Ed with branches, and doing some 'good ol' fashioned stick acting', whilst being evil. I wonder how many of my roles in my Drama degree can be filled with evil stick acting? So far the ratio is 2/2. I hope for many more. Really love my group, can't wait for our official cast BONDING sesh whilst eating tapas and salsa dancing (clearly not all at the same time, imagine!). And at the end, we finally got our marks back for a previous performance, and I was really happy and very surprised with my grade, but what really meant alot to me was how she commended me for my imagination and creative input, and that she really valued it. I had been feeling a bit wobbly, but it just made me feel really lovely, so had a little happy cry.
Also, an act of serendipity meant that I cycled past the polling station so my vote DEFINITELY counts as I never usually cycle from the Drama studio - home, and I never usually go that way, but because I did, it meant that I rememebered to vote - something which had I forgotton to do I would have been very annoyed at myself.
In other boobtastic news, my boobieboss has offered the oppertunity of working as a boobie monkey at festivals at the summer, which I am DEFINITELY going to do! Don't know where, don't know how, but know I'm VERY excited! I'm so happy that my job celebrates boobulant puns and boob suits (they are EXACTLY what you think they are!).
Meanwhile, and quite a biggie in terms of my life, I have finally got a tattoo. I am 21 years old, have voted in 2 separate elections, have travelled independantly, buy my own toothpaste and 5 out of 7 days sleep without a teddy in my bed. I am a grown up (WELL, who am I kidding, but for the purposes of wit and this story, hell yea I am). I LOVE IT. Its so cute and small and means alot to me! I love where it is, what it looks like, and I know this is ridiculous, but I can't wait for someone to ask 'Do you have a tattoo?' and for me, finally, to be able to reply, whilst sucking in my stomach, puckering out my lips, fluttering my eyelashes, twirling my hair, 'why, yes, yes I do!'. Also I love the idea of it being private (despite me talking about it on my blog, facebook, texts, phonecalls, and photos everywhere; in this modern age thats pretty much private..!). It did not hurt. I am not lying (cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye). It literally did not hurt. If you read this blog (i.e if you have a LOT of time on your hands and want something innane to do) ask me to demonstrate the pain of it.
I'm going to tidy my room. And today is one of the 2 out of the 7 days that teddy is sleeping in with me, aw yeeee. I think getting a tattoo is grown up enough for one day x.
P.s This is my ink:
Sunday 29 April 2012
Wanger Watch, Penis Patrol, Sausage Scout.
So me, Harriet and Natasha spent 3 hours on ChatRoulette about 2 weeks ago. In that time we made a tally chart of how many pork swords we saw. The grand total was 53!! My, my thats a lot of peckers.
By the way, we do actually have lives and are not sex starved fiends - but you're reading my blog so you totally understand time wasting!
By the way, we do actually have lives and are not sex starved fiends - but you're reading my blog so you totally understand time wasting!
Letter to my past, present, and future selves.
Dear day dreamer,
Your hair looked really good yesterday, keep it up. Get better at lipstick application; go for more the look of sophisticated Parisian chic rather than overexcited 4 year old with playdough - there are better ways to be cute.
Stop doing things that make you feel like compost - these include drinking too much alchol, drinking too little water and not sleeping enough. Take care to eat well and find different ways to exercise. Step AROUND the puddles when you have holes in your shoes. Dance and sing in front of people whilst being confident at them. Keep telling, and finding funny 'Knock Knock' jokes. Believe that you can do languages and maths, and use them in your life - the world isn't an extension of school, so just because you got a bad grade in them doesn't mean a t'ing.
This is a big one in many ways, but find a way to not leave things to the last minute - friendships, deadlines, meetings. What you've done so far has worked on some occassions, and on the whole you're not the worst with time management, but time is so precious, so find better ways to value it. Don't give up the ghost when you're starting to feel slightly unsure, you're much better at this than you used to be, but really make an effort to give something your whole energy, right the way through. You never know where it may lead.
Keep on collecting the precious things, and editing out the things that don't matter so much. Work out what matters, hold on tight, and find different ways of showing you care. LISTEN hard and listen good to everyone and everything with a voice. Never believe that anyone is better than you, or that you're better than anyone else. Just believe some people are more suited, have a different skill set - there is no international grading system, and you're still not sure if there is anyone with the right authority who gets to award the gold star and take the register. We're talking about God here, and you're already aware that you're going to spend a lot of time looking around trying to work out how you feel about the bearded man in the cloud.
Trust. Love. Laugh. Listen. Find ways to make these small words a big part of your life. As Roald Dahl's Matilda says, 'Never do anything by halves if you can get away with it, go the whole hog'. Remember that the things that you think and dream about may even come true one day - even the really crazy stuff. You've seen so much sparkles, and you feel so much sparkles inside you, but sometimes it takes several waves of the wand before the magic happens(!) (also, never stop having a childish sense of perspective or humour; remember when you never understood how people grew up, I think you've already realised that the polished professionals are only kidding themselves when they make the distinction between child and adult). Every day look around in wonder of the world, and lap it up; you don't have long.
Love you, always x.
Your hair looked really good yesterday, keep it up. Get better at lipstick application; go for more the look of sophisticated Parisian chic rather than overexcited 4 year old with playdough - there are better ways to be cute.
Stop doing things that make you feel like compost - these include drinking too much alchol, drinking too little water and not sleeping enough. Take care to eat well and find different ways to exercise. Step AROUND the puddles when you have holes in your shoes. Dance and sing in front of people whilst being confident at them. Keep telling, and finding funny 'Knock Knock' jokes. Believe that you can do languages and maths, and use them in your life - the world isn't an extension of school, so just because you got a bad grade in them doesn't mean a t'ing.
This is a big one in many ways, but find a way to not leave things to the last minute - friendships, deadlines, meetings. What you've done so far has worked on some occassions, and on the whole you're not the worst with time management, but time is so precious, so find better ways to value it. Don't give up the ghost when you're starting to feel slightly unsure, you're much better at this than you used to be, but really make an effort to give something your whole energy, right the way through. You never know where it may lead.
Keep on collecting the precious things, and editing out the things that don't matter so much. Work out what matters, hold on tight, and find different ways of showing you care. LISTEN hard and listen good to everyone and everything with a voice. Never believe that anyone is better than you, or that you're better than anyone else. Just believe some people are more suited, have a different skill set - there is no international grading system, and you're still not sure if there is anyone with the right authority who gets to award the gold star and take the register. We're talking about God here, and you're already aware that you're going to spend a lot of time looking around trying to work out how you feel about the bearded man in the cloud.
Trust. Love. Laugh. Listen. Find ways to make these small words a big part of your life. As Roald Dahl's Matilda says, 'Never do anything by halves if you can get away with it, go the whole hog'. Remember that the things that you think and dream about may even come true one day - even the really crazy stuff. You've seen so much sparkles, and you feel so much sparkles inside you, but sometimes it takes several waves of the wand before the magic happens(!) (also, never stop having a childish sense of perspective or humour; remember when you never understood how people grew up, I think you've already realised that the polished professionals are only kidding themselves when they make the distinction between child and adult). Every day look around in wonder of the world, and lap it up; you don't have long.
Love you, always x.
Tuesday 24 April 2012
I know I must be learning because my head and body feels like scrambled eggs.
I remember the time when learning the alphabet was a pretty tall order.
At the moment in rehearsals we're attempting to recreate a French pastoral world of the peasants. Today we had to be wheat. We had to think like wheat, move like wheat, make our eyes look like wheat, breathe like wheat. I'm thinking like 'What?'. Usually it would totes be up my street, I mean, who doesn't want to be a field of wheat? But, surprisingly, going to bed at silly hours, and waking up 15 minutes before rehearsal starts, doesn't equip you with bags of enthusiasm.
Additionally, the most inappropriate bodily functions seem to raise their heads when doing physical theatre. For instance, my partner had to kick me so I rolled over, and then pick up my legs to turn me into a wheelbarrow, and everytime he came to lift my legs I started to need to fart. NOT COOL. I didn't feel brave enough to tell my partner my predicament so I just had to squeeze my bum cheeks together tighter than when you're trying to crack a nut, alongside contorting and tightening all of my other muscles.
I think for today I'm going to stick with what I know...a...b...c...d...e...f...g.......and tomorrow make S-A-Y W-H-A-T into B-E-I-N-G W-H-E-A-T.
At the moment in rehearsals we're attempting to recreate a French pastoral world of the peasants. Today we had to be wheat. We had to think like wheat, move like wheat, make our eyes look like wheat, breathe like wheat. I'm thinking like 'What?'. Usually it would totes be up my street, I mean, who doesn't want to be a field of wheat? But, surprisingly, going to bed at silly hours, and waking up 15 minutes before rehearsal starts, doesn't equip you with bags of enthusiasm.
Additionally, the most inappropriate bodily functions seem to raise their heads when doing physical theatre. For instance, my partner had to kick me so I rolled over, and then pick up my legs to turn me into a wheelbarrow, and everytime he came to lift my legs I started to need to fart. NOT COOL. I didn't feel brave enough to tell my partner my predicament so I just had to squeeze my bum cheeks together tighter than when you're trying to crack a nut, alongside contorting and tightening all of my other muscles.
I think for today I'm going to stick with what I know...a...b...c...d...e...f...g.......and tomorrow make S-A-Y W-H-A-T into B-E-I-N-G W-H-E-A-T.
Monday 23 April 2012
Sunday 22 April 2012
This is me in my 'I'm a total softie' mode.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQsczo6h78c
Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
LOVE YOU x
Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
LOVE YOU x
Wednesday 18 April 2012
5 things that I'm certain of, for now.
Peanut butter sandwhiches with banana are perhaps the most magnificent thing I have ever tasted. Period. Full Stop. End Of.
I really need to take better care of my feet.
If I used the time that I've been thinking about this guy to do my work it probably would have been done by now.
Purple and green works together, every single time.
The man who does the voiceover for 'CILIT BANG' is annoying, no matter how much time has passed.
I really need to take better care of my feet.
If I used the time that I've been thinking about this guy to do my work it probably would have been done by now.
Purple and green works together, every single time.
The man who does the voiceover for 'CILIT BANG' is annoying, no matter how much time has passed.
Saturday 14 April 2012
Want to look like a bag of bones? UM NO, not really.
A dear friend of mine is writing a script to highlight the issues with eating disorders, and the other night we were talking about some of the research he had found on pro - anorexia sites, so I thought I'd check it out for myself, and this is one of many horrifically blunt posts that just gives me more than a few heeebeeejeebees:
I hope whoever feels inspired by these finds a way to undo all of these thoughts, and is able to eventually lead a healthy mental and physical lifestyle.
- Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
- Wet a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat bad food.
- Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
- Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
- Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
Wednesday 11 April 2012
As an extension of my illustrative previous post, here we go.
I have literally loved EVERY SECOND of this Easter holiday - done so many exciting things, and have met some really lovely new people, and have opened some pretty exciting doors for the future. I could yadda on about how radient and fabulous time off has been.
But I wish I could have had all that I have been doing, with all of the people who are precious to me. I miss curling up in cafes with pillows and nestled into the corners of a sofa with a bunch of friends whose toes and legs are all entwinned, a cup of tea and cake balanced on our stomachs and having THE MOST indepth conversations about....toenails? eyebrows? floorboards? It can be ANYTHING, but with the right people it always feels like the biggest SOMETHING.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is....I'd like to make you a mixed tape. I mean, make a holiday card with you. Aaah, you know it.
But I wish I could have had all that I have been doing, with all of the people who are precious to me. I miss curling up in cafes with pillows and nestled into the corners of a sofa with a bunch of friends whose toes and legs are all entwinned, a cup of tea and cake balanced on our stomachs and having THE MOST indepth conversations about....toenails? eyebrows? floorboards? It can be ANYTHING, but with the right people it always feels like the biggest SOMETHING.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is....I'd like to make you a mixed tape. I mean, make a holiday card with you. Aaah, you know it.
Tuesday 10 April 2012
Shocking news.
I own 2 pieces of denim. I'll pause for effect. I plan to extend the set and get denim socks, knickers, a bra, a top, a ring, some earrings, a bracelet, a necklace, a hair band - all made from denim and wear them at the same time.
You have been warned. This will happen.
You have been warned. This will happen.
Friday 6 April 2012
So I seem to have wrapped myself up in a Couchsurfing nest.
I'm organising a Norwich photo scavenger hunt for CSrs, a promotional event at The Forum, and writing two newspaper features for the student papers, and as such, am spending about 85% of my day thinking and talking about Couchsurfing. And you know what? Its making me love it more! I really love that it can be used LITERALLY worldwide, and it can be whatever you want/need it to be. In a world where there is so much hate, and war, and mistrust, I am so happy and honoured to be part of something so beautiful and simple as trusting someone you don't have a personal history with, as if they were a member of your family.
COR BLIMEY! Hell yes. Ding dong.
If you want to check it out: www.couchsurfing.org
COR BLIMEY! Hell yes. Ding dong.
If you want to check it out: www.couchsurfing.org
Thursday 5 April 2012
Writing emails like a pro.
Hope the sun is shining through your window and your boobs are well copped.
Best wishes,
Kate Marks.
Best wishes,
Kate Marks.
Wednesday 4 April 2012
Harbouring a Hamster: Its harder than you think.
My cleaner is out there. Me and Banquo are on silent mode - he's hiding under his nest of ripped up paper, and well, I don't have any ripped up paper but I sure am being quiet.
Which is a bit tricky because I'm SO excited, I can barely sit still. I'm getting involved with this promotional day at the Forum on the 13th of April for Couchsurfing. PLUS, I emailed the Concrete editor and asked if I could write a feature about it, which may include interviews and stuff. WAHOOO! Which is doubley exciting considering yesterday I wrote my 'Bucket list', and by doing this activity I would be fullfilling my desire to 'write a feature in Concrete' and 'get more involved in the couchsurfing Norwich community'. EEEEEEEEEK. I'm also, following the success and enjoyment of mine and Ed's, going to try and get on the road a photo scavenger hunt around Norwich for Couchsurfers, so we can get to know each other a bit more! I think they seem really active, so hopefully I can mingle like a pringle at a party with them (I mean being wanted more of, rather than being crunched to oblivion. O, metaphors you ellude me!).
I'll probably upload some of the photo scavenger photos soon - we got some good 'uns. My personal favourites are mine and Ed's names inscribed in cow poop (Ed did the writing,,,what a gent!), me kissing a 50 year old (well, I think he was older, and its not my favourite because it was a PLEASURABLE experience, but definitely a ding dongingly daring experience), me flipping burgers in a kebab shop (although in one of the photos one of the members of staff is miming killing me with a knife...), me naked in a field (Bless Ed, he didn't know where to look! But its definitely more envigorating than you'd think!).
This weekend I'm hoping to hitchike to London to see my sister and brother in law as they've just moved house which is FLIPPING exciting because they are lovely together, apart, and VERY good at making a house look really pretty. SO can't wait to see what they've made of it! Also, hoping to see my friend James who I met doing TEFL last year, and we've arranged, and failed to meet up SO many times, but hopefully he'll be back from Barcelona and I'll have enough time.
Plus many other exciting jaunts, but right now I'm going to (and by going to, I mean that I will do it, and not get distracted like yesterday!) read the script and start researching for a performance I'm doing in 2 weeks, which is inspired by these funky yahoos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkBLseora7A
Which is a bit tricky because I'm SO excited, I can barely sit still. I'm getting involved with this promotional day at the Forum on the 13th of April for Couchsurfing. PLUS, I emailed the Concrete editor and asked if I could write a feature about it, which may include interviews and stuff. WAHOOO! Which is doubley exciting considering yesterday I wrote my 'Bucket list', and by doing this activity I would be fullfilling my desire to 'write a feature in Concrete' and 'get more involved in the couchsurfing Norwich community'. EEEEEEEEEK. I'm also, following the success and enjoyment of mine and Ed's, going to try and get on the road a photo scavenger hunt around Norwich for Couchsurfers, so we can get to know each other a bit more! I think they seem really active, so hopefully I can mingle like a pringle at a party with them (I mean being wanted more of, rather than being crunched to oblivion. O, metaphors you ellude me!).
I'll probably upload some of the photo scavenger photos soon - we got some good 'uns. My personal favourites are mine and Ed's names inscribed in cow poop (Ed did the writing,,,what a gent!), me kissing a 50 year old (well, I think he was older, and its not my favourite because it was a PLEASURABLE experience, but definitely a ding dongingly daring experience), me flipping burgers in a kebab shop (although in one of the photos one of the members of staff is miming killing me with a knife...), me naked in a field (Bless Ed, he didn't know where to look! But its definitely more envigorating than you'd think!).
This weekend I'm hoping to hitchike to London to see my sister and brother in law as they've just moved house which is FLIPPING exciting because they are lovely together, apart, and VERY good at making a house look really pretty. SO can't wait to see what they've made of it! Also, hoping to see my friend James who I met doing TEFL last year, and we've arranged, and failed to meet up SO many times, but hopefully he'll be back from Barcelona and I'll have enough time.
Plus many other exciting jaunts, but right now I'm going to (and by going to, I mean that I will do it, and not get distracted like yesterday!) read the script and start researching for a performance I'm doing in 2 weeks, which is inspired by these funky yahoos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkBLseora7A
Tuesday 3 April 2012
In other news, this is pretty funny, and you can fully appreciate it after you've watched Jurassic Park.
http://trextrying.tumblr.com/page/3
I walked 120,000 steps, and 60 miles, and came home to a hamster named Banquo.
So - get this. I don't just write banal posts about the essays that I havn't written/hate writing/am avoiding writing, but I also do long distance walks.
Well, I did a long distance walk. Past tense. There's no way that I'm still doing it now. Right now I'm fully installed into my pyjamas, chillin' with Mr Banquo - a friend's hamster I'm looking after (Sir Banquo to his inferiors, thank you very much) and I plan to write my 'Bucket list' today, skype with some lovely people, watch a movie, write some letters, read some stuff, have dinner with a friend, and generally CHILL OUT.
I keep on having flashbacks to the walk. In parts it was like being one of the fellowship from Lord of The Rings, and other times it was like being dropped into a vat of lava. There were some moments in the mid of this scale, but they were few and far between. I'll write about the highlights when the lowlights (uuur BLISTERS) have gone down and I start waxing lyrical about 'the journey' and 'finding so much out about the world, and myself'. But right now its all about the blisters and Banquo.
Well, I did a long distance walk. Past tense. There's no way that I'm still doing it now. Right now I'm fully installed into my pyjamas, chillin' with Mr Banquo - a friend's hamster I'm looking after (Sir Banquo to his inferiors, thank you very much) and I plan to write my 'Bucket list' today, skype with some lovely people, watch a movie, write some letters, read some stuff, have dinner with a friend, and generally CHILL OUT.
I keep on having flashbacks to the walk. In parts it was like being one of the fellowship from Lord of The Rings, and other times it was like being dropped into a vat of lava. There were some moments in the mid of this scale, but they were few and far between. I'll write about the highlights when the lowlights (uuur BLISTERS) have gone down and I start waxing lyrical about 'the journey' and 'finding so much out about the world, and myself'. But right now its all about the blisters and Banquo.
Thursday 29 March 2012
Accidental feminism slip
So my essay is on the representation and significance of Houses in Prosper Merimee's Carmen, and David Storey's This Sporting Life. I'm kind of leaving it to the last minute, and hoping that I can just wing it. And as the words get more and more on the page, I slip more and more into feminism. If in doubt, be a feminist, I guess!
Miracles don't necessarily come from men in loin cloths and beards.
4 hours sleep. No revision. Very wired. Woke up half an hour before exam, after pressing snooze for 2 hours.
Get a mid - 2:1? Whaaa?
Got to bang out 1500 words before midnight, lets see if this luck is a fluke!
In other news, amidst my procrustination, I forgot how cute this lil guy is:
Get a mid - 2:1? Whaaa?
Got to bang out 1500 words before midnight, lets see if this luck is a fluke!
In other news, amidst my procrustination, I forgot how cute this lil guy is:
Wednesday 28 March 2012
Slightly ceremonial.
I think its fitting that my first post on here was to do with me starting to run. Well its daaaymn certain I'm going to have to get back into running over Easter as I'm eating absolute rubbish (see previous post...). So, soon I'll be writing posts about natural yogurt and sunshine and running and the sounds of birds tweeting, and what flowers I saw. But right now I want to say....
FUCKSHITARSEBUMWANKTITCOCKBUGGERMCFUGGERFUCKITYNOARSEHOLECUNTBUMPOOTOILETCRAPARSESHITY
FUCKSHITARSEBUMWANKTITCOCKBUGGERMCFUGGERFUCKITYNOARSEHOLECUNTBUMPOOTOILETCRAPARSESHITY
Ridiculous
Talk about DEVOLUTION: MATTESONS advertisement is 'Crave meat, hunt Mattesons'. Its not even pretending; almost as if they still expect us to be wearing loincloth and traipsing in from starting a fire through sticks and stones.
I really don't need to be thinking about this right now. O dear. Its that 3am feeling. And for the record - I had a cheese & onion sandwhich, and it tasted like cardboard on a bad day.
I really don't need to be thinking about this right now. O dear. Its that 3am feeling. And for the record - I had a cheese & onion sandwhich, and it tasted like cardboard on a bad day.
Calling all clever clogs
Basically, don't know how to link to a video on this blog, so the previous post was meant to feature an incredible sneezing panda, that, lets face it, will probably get me through my degree.
All coke, and no real food, makes Kate a very weird person.
All coke, and no real food, makes Kate a very weird person.
Entertain me.
There's only so much pleasure that can be got from writing in different coloured pens, and drawing a man's mouth and eyes on forefinger and thumb and making him sing 'Bohemiam Rhapsody' by Queen.
Toilet Trauma.
I wrote this for the UEADrop, but it got rejected, so here I am posting it where I, the editor, say yes!
Ok, so I’m a pretty firm female participant in the gender arena. I separate my socks from my knickers, I always wash behind my ears, between my toes (no cabbages growing there thank you very much) and if I’m mad with a man – friend, and they ask “what’s wrong?”, I claim that “I’m fine” (through gritted teeth), and then get annoyed they haven’t solved the problem. We all try to hide from the facts, but we know this to be true. A more scientific definition of my femininity is that I’ve (fingers crossed) got all the right level of chromosomes, and my apples and pears are in the right places. It’s a confirmed gender identity.
Or so I thought. These clear markers take on a murky colour when I am confronted with 4 doors. I am of course referring to the 4, practically identical doors of the Blue and Red bar toilets. Cue my face looking at a similar level of concentration as solving a Rubix cube, standing on one leg, attempting to recite the alphabet, listing all 300 varieties of goat, and making a poached egg – all at the same time and backwards. Tricky business I’m sure you’ll agree. Please also factor in that its high chance that I’m completely widdled and probably doing my ‘come get me’ eyes to the skirting board. Or, in fact, more shamefully, blindingly sober and nipped over to quickly spend a penny in between the rounds of a launderette sesh. Both scenarios are pretty high on the tragic scale.
You would think that the makers of UEA (God? The Government? Domino’s Pizza?) did their market research into how much students drink, at last count over half (52%) of male students and nearly half (43%) of female students drink more than the government’s daily unit guidelines (3-4 units a day for men and 2-3 for women) . So we’re talking stonking high amounts of alcohol, that make us stonkingly disorientated, and either gender confused or definitely perplexed. You forget what hangs where and how, when confronted with these doors.
Take today for instance. My laundry had 10 minutes left. I thought “O, here we go”, as the familiar alarm that nature needed to call, started to ring. I dashed over to the Blue bar, streaking past a man doing weights and a woman painting her nails. They seemed to have a pretty good idea of where they belonged, and I smugly agreed with them, until, without a moment to loose, I skid, wheeling past a man operating a bbq and a woman being a bad driver, in front of the 4 doors. All sense of certainty slides from my face, heart and soul. Who bloody knows? They all look the same! People are staring, I can hear the warbled karaoke judging me, as in my moment of abject panic I can’t choose, won’t choose, don’t know where to go. My bladder makes an alarming lurch, and I just have to, on pure instinct hope for the best, as I scramble blindly towards the door. I open it.
It’s the same trauma every time. And I’m not going to tell you what was behind that door.
Ok, so I’m a pretty firm female participant in the gender arena. I separate my socks from my knickers, I always wash behind my ears, between my toes (no cabbages growing there thank you very much) and if I’m mad with a man – friend, and they ask “what’s wrong?”, I claim that “I’m fine” (through gritted teeth), and then get annoyed they haven’t solved the problem. We all try to hide from the facts, but we know this to be true. A more scientific definition of my femininity is that I’ve (fingers crossed) got all the right level of chromosomes, and my apples and pears are in the right places. It’s a confirmed gender identity.
Or so I thought. These clear markers take on a murky colour when I am confronted with 4 doors. I am of course referring to the 4, practically identical doors of the Blue and Red bar toilets. Cue my face looking at a similar level of concentration as solving a Rubix cube, standing on one leg, attempting to recite the alphabet, listing all 300 varieties of goat, and making a poached egg – all at the same time and backwards. Tricky business I’m sure you’ll agree. Please also factor in that its high chance that I’m completely widdled and probably doing my ‘come get me’ eyes to the skirting board. Or, in fact, more shamefully, blindingly sober and nipped over to quickly spend a penny in between the rounds of a launderette sesh. Both scenarios are pretty high on the tragic scale.
You would think that the makers of UEA (God? The Government? Domino’s Pizza?) did their market research into how much students drink, at last count over half (52%) of male students and nearly half (43%) of female students drink more than the government’s daily unit guidelines (3-4 units a day for men and 2-3 for women) . So we’re talking stonking high amounts of alcohol, that make us stonkingly disorientated, and either gender confused or definitely perplexed. You forget what hangs where and how, when confronted with these doors.
Take today for instance. My laundry had 10 minutes left. I thought “O, here we go”, as the familiar alarm that nature needed to call, started to ring. I dashed over to the Blue bar, streaking past a man doing weights and a woman painting her nails. They seemed to have a pretty good idea of where they belonged, and I smugly agreed with them, until, without a moment to loose, I skid, wheeling past a man operating a bbq and a woman being a bad driver, in front of the 4 doors. All sense of certainty slides from my face, heart and soul. Who bloody knows? They all look the same! People are staring, I can hear the warbled karaoke judging me, as in my moment of abject panic I can’t choose, won’t choose, don’t know where to go. My bladder makes an alarming lurch, and I just have to, on pure instinct hope for the best, as I scramble blindly towards the door. I open it.
It’s the same trauma every time. And I’m not going to tell you what was behind that door.
What am I? Who am I?
Walk into the toilet. 'Ooo this smells a bit funny'. Do my business, come to open the door, and see someone without boobies looking alarmed and staring at me. Yup, done it again. Definitely gender confused.
In other news, however, on day 2 of Librarygate I have just succeeded in nabbing the good chair once again. Giggedy.
In other news, however, on day 2 of Librarygate I have just succeeded in nabbing the good chair once again. Giggedy.
One down, one to go!
Quite chuffed with my closing sentiments,
'As long as people need to speak, Theatre Workshop’s methods can talk as many languages as there are voices, and can always find a megaphone to magnify their agenda, whatever the colour.'
O, Theatre Workshop, its been a pleasure. But I really think we should start seeing other people. Like ones that don't make me stay inside when I really ought to be outside.
'As long as people need to speak, Theatre Workshop’s methods can talk as many languages as there are voices, and can always find a megaphone to magnify their agenda, whatever the colour.'
O, Theatre Workshop, its been a pleasure. But I really think we should start seeing other people. Like ones that don't make me stay inside when I really ought to be outside.
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Ideas too big for my boots.
Changed back to the shorter chair, I was at a level too high for my station.
Change of name
My name is no longer Kate Marks, it is Fidget McWidget. I'll make it official in the morning if I live through all of the death looks that are being catapaulted at me from all angles.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
I'm going up in the world
Just got another upgrade of chair, and gave the next door library person a smug look!
I feel like this is the fastest paced evolution the world has ever seen!
I feel like this is the fastest paced evolution the world has ever seen!
The witching hour? Mai time to shiiine.
So 1am Kate responds to a slightly saucy-toned message with
'O you want me to show you how to make a house of cards out of paper doilies?', with not a hint of irony.
That, my friends, is why I'm single.
In other news, however, I've seen the same security guard walk up those steps twice in one hour. Something must be occurin'. O MY GOD the view from my laptop is so boring - the only way out of this library is by clawing through my essay, which is a less physical, more traumatic version of the Great Escape, which I had wanted to re - watch, but now feel like I've experienced it myself, whilst being entrapped in a sausage encased pair of tights.
'O you want me to show you how to make a house of cards out of paper doilies?', with not a hint of irony.
That, my friends, is why I'm single.
In other news, however, I've seen the same security guard walk up those steps twice in one hour. Something must be occurin'. O MY GOD the view from my laptop is so boring - the only way out of this library is by clawing through my essay, which is a less physical, more traumatic version of the Great Escape, which I had wanted to re - watch, but now feel like I've experienced it myself, whilst being entrapped in a sausage encased pair of tights.
Aces!
Just swapped my uncomfortable plastic library chair for a double padded swivel beauty. + 1 for essay writing. -1 for STILL being in the library. Having a little hilarious holiday in my head imagining my friend Emma in her amazing role of Meg in Harold Pinter's The Birthday Party doing really mundane things like buying courgettes and getting on the bus. Must mention it to her.
Hm.
What if world - wide arguments weren't solved through people dying? Its odd how we have accepted that wars happen. I remember growing up in the '90s and seeing a jet plane shooting across the horizon, and asking my mum what it was doing, and she replied that "it was going to war". I remember even then being astonished that wars were being fought when I felt so comfortable, driving in a car through some woods to go and have lunch with my Nana. In England, if we get to the lowest low, we still can bank on the fact that we're alive; that we have a life and we exist. So many people around the world aren't so fortunate.
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